Friday 28 June 2013

Sex Sex Sex

So, I have a few friends that are virgins - to them this is quite a huge deal. To people like me, are not - it's not a big deal. Sex is amazing - yeah. Buut if you haven't dipped the sausage yet, who gives a shit? And will people notice your a virgin on your first time? No. Some people i have slept* with, (*I dont know if what we did can even count as anything) have made out to be huge players and when it actually came down to it, have acted a bit like this.. 

But anyway 50 answers from myself about the magical action of sex, love, relationshipss. Coutersy of tumblrrrr.


1. Are looks important in a relationship?
Why say No? They obviously are? Presented with a sloth like male, or channing tatum, we all know you're gonna pick. Looks aren't the height of importance, as i do believe personality is more important. But you have to be attracted to someone or else it's pointless.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?
Yeah, or else we would all be single. Its difficult to describe what a happy relationship is like without being smooshy. But its lush, its different to having friends and if your happy you don't care that your friends are having a shag up some alley way with some lad they will never see again and you don't care that you suddenly have to buy a whole other family presents at birthdays/christmas etc. However, aa relationship where you don't trust is pointless. just break it off now.


3. Are you a virgin?
No, not for a long time. Ive been with matt near on 4 years, so thats that counted away. And shamefully 1 before him. Kids shouldnt have sex, its not right and looking back its so wrong. If any of my little cousins decided to have sex that young - I would strangle them.
 
4. Are you in a relationship?
Yepppp. 4th September 2009 at Seaton Carnvial at the age of 14. Wouldnt change a thing.


5. Are you in love?
No ideaa, how do you know? People through that word around likes theres no tommorow - so its embarrasing and slightly chavvy at my age to say that I am? But Matt is the one person in my world who knows me better then anyone. Hes seen me ill, rock bottom, happy, angry, stressed etc. and hes still there - so i guess i do :)  


6. Are you single this year?
No, well hopefully not hahaa. 


7. Can you commit to one person? 
Yeah, i find it really easy. I have a few firends who have serious commitment issues and i don't get it. Its ones of those things that bewilders me complelty, because i can't think if anything bettter then being with someone who really cares for you. 


8. Describe your crush/boyfriend? 
6ft, Blonde hair, blue eyes, no muscle ;), gorgeous smile, amazing with kids, loves his friends and family, reckless, crazy, gamer, loser, best friend, carpenter, perfect. :)


9. D

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, bullshit! How can you love someone based on a pre-conception that there the one. Utter shit. You cant lvoe anyone until you build up a mutual understanding for each other. Kids in this day and age, have so much access to facebook etc. they believe they should be in love and should do all this by the time their 16. Why?!?!?!?!? Go out, have fun, get drunk, see your friends and dont give a shit, about how lads/girls interpret you. Your too young to waste time slabbing on makeup, getting dressed up in shoes that hurt and trying to impress.

11. Do you ever want to get married?
Probablly not. I don't really believe in it. Bit of paper that shows you love someone or fancy a day to yourself. It's not my cup of tea personally. But it's one thing im not opiniated on. If you wan tto do it - do it. If you don't - don't. :)

12. Do you forgive betrayal?
Easier said then done. Cant really comment on this one, because youv'e got be in the possition. I've jumped to some stupid conclusions before because wenches have decided to have a game of stir the shit and i wish i hadn't. If you turst the person your with, then you shouldnt even have to know betrayal.

13. Do you get jealous easily?
Hahaha, i used to be so bad. "Matt whos that" "Why you talking to them" "Where you going" etc etc. but now im to lazy to give a shit. PLUS i know hands down if any girl was given matt on a plate, they would deliver him special delivery to my house after a day. He's to annoying for most to put up with.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Gerrard Butler. - me and Matt have an agreement, if him or Tullissa came to the door, we would get a pass. Actually i think we said "Marry them, shag them, divorce them - then were minted for life" hahaa.

15. Do you have any piercings?
Oh my god, i've had tons over the years. The only ones remaning are my ears. But i have had: My nose, my belly, my top lip, bottom lip, anti-belly thing and various ear piercings. I get bored of them and take them out :)
16. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope, way to scared haha. 

17. Do you like kissing in public?
No. its vile. Not to everyone on this planet - just don't!!!!


20. Do you shower every day?
I have a bath everyday, sometimes a shower aswell.  

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
I hope one person does haha. anyone else, nah probablly not - I'm abit to odd to think of in a lovey way. I'm more like the wanker you've got to be friends with to make you seem more normal :) 


22.. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? 
Hope so, because that's a really nice thought. :)

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
Already have rinsed that record. ;) pro!

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
Noooopee.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
I'm in one.


26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
Yeah. :) 


27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? 
No and i hope they never do, i hate that shit.

28. Have you lost someone you love?
Yeah, we all have though, havent we? Not a boyfriend, but friends and family. 

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
Yeah, but not in present relationship. 

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
Nose Job!!! I have a jew nose, thanks to my dad. Its huge and i hate it and i will get a normal nose one day! That is all.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
Yeah, i cry all the time over anything. Films, Songs, Pictures on facebook, Videos on facebook, my friends arguing, My friends breaking up with their boyfirends/girlfriends, when my family are upset. Im an endless sop.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
I'm not one hundred precent sure what that is, so im going to say maybe and smile and wave.


33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
Yeah. Only 1 - The others were boys.
 
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Pretty sure i have lesbian tendencies cus i always dream about that? (dream interpretors help meee) but in reality no i havent.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Yeah, quie a regular occurance actually :)


36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? 
In year 8 I was obsessed with one of my best friends James White. ahhaa. I still love him now, just not in an obessive "i want to b yuur giirlfriend" way. 

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
Hahhahahahhaha. Yes. This is soemthing we won't go into, because it got me onto a lot of trouble and I reckon it still would today if bought up.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
Matt. Honestly, wouldnt change him now - but i remember being like "what the fuck are ya doing emski" Haha. So mean, but yeah - it was all a bit weird.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
Very fortunate to say no i havent. 

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
Nope

41. Have you had sex so far this year?
Yes.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
Depends, if were on our own, 20 seconds haha.

43. How long was your longest relationship?
Current one :) and hopefully my final one. 


44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 
Too many to be proud of, but in my defence i was a slutty 13 year old and a master plaaayerr. ;)

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?
1 :O. That sounds so depressing.

46. How many times did you have sex last year?
In all honesty, not countable.

47. How old are you?
18

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
He wouldnt be worrying abotu words, becasuse I would be strangling him with his testacles. Guck this "If your happy, im happy. NO. I would kill him :)

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
Sense of humour, constantly laughing.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
Well it would be matt, and i love presents soooo Yeah :)

Sunday 3 March 2013

Anuvahood

Hello there :)
I haven't been about In a while, not for any reason other than I am so lazy. I told you this when I started blogging. Plus hash tagging , isn't that infuriating at the moment (thank foook). Anyway more to the point, I don't like being judged.
Okay so this is quite broad, but really? Why should the way other people choose to see me. Reflect what I am actually like. Most people are one look and think omg, I'm to indie and posh for her, blah blah blah. Fuck off? I probably have more generosity in one finger than the whole of their stuck up body. I'm not poor, I'm not badly dressed, I have a bad accent admittedly, but when I choose to, I have a better vocabulary than most posh mother fuckers. So sit down, and lead your distorted stupid life. At least I know who I am. I'm 5ft6, 10 stone, I like wearing hair extensions and eyelashes and I like wearing hollister trackies and vans, but I don't think I'm more important because I can afford these things. And I don't think any less of people (like me) who also shop in primark. Your not any better than me, because you act like you own the joint. In fact,it's hilarious how fab, you think your life is, because you know a couple big words, fuck all of you judgmental fuckers. I look at everyone equally and I make my own judgment after I have an idea what they are like. My best friend is a teenage mum, my other best friend is a Dentist nurse. I give everyone a fair choice.  So next time, you want to judge me, you can take your posh little self the fuck away from me, look at my un manicured middle finger and swivel on is chavy origins. You cunt.

In other news: #danceponydance heheheeee

Emily xo

Tuesday 15 January 2013

#Mention25CutePeopleOnTwitter

This makes me want to chunder and punch someone in the face. This is where twitter famous people get there kicks from and you know it. "Olly Riley is well cute and i luv him shit loads cus he wearz jack willzzzzz". I actually want to cry in despair, go and kill yourselves. Howeveeeer, this hashtag gives me oppurtunties to big up my friends :D.  But it just annoys how twitter is a popularity contest. Well, twitter is useless. Unless you’re a celebrity, or just some famous person who people care about, there is no need to even have an account. It’s like talking to yourself.  so why do we all use it? Cus' we care about the shit, because we take the piss out of it. Doesnt make it good though, does it? Its all over hyped and full of half naked sluts or pretty boys. Its the biggest loads of BS and the main fuel for the rumour mill. Jeff tweets "Mmmmm love ice-cream, sharing a bowl with the wife whilst watching a film". Bill reads Jeffs tweet and tells Nancy "Jeff shared an icecream cone with his wife when they were watching porn" Nancy tells Sarah "Jeff creamed on his wife after wanking in a bowl of ice watching porn" and then Sarah tells Jeffs wife "Jeff was wanking in an igloo and came on an eskimo watching porn" And they get a divorce. (not true btw but ya get me bruv.) 


#33millionbeliebers #nowplaying #resigned

Sorry, but today i have to do 2 hashtags, because the first one makes me want to chunder. For fuck sake, justin bieber is not special, he is a complete retard. He honestly has no idea aabout the world, and was bought up in a nice big canadian house with pancakes and pushe dhis whole life to write rappy-pop shit that has no meaning. He hasn't worked to get where he is and he doesnt give a shit about his fans. He doesnt! He only wants your money you fucktards. makes me so angry. So to his "beliebers", please give up and focus on passing your 11+ and growing a pube. 33 million people can be wrong, beliebe me!


#nowplaying.
for me?
on tv: newss.
Something out "fiscal cliff" in America, which means america fucked itself last year, but now they reckon its given america a lift. Anyway who gives a shit! as long as man vs. food carries on eyyy?
on laptop: jake bugg - taste it.
Good time to look, because i love Jake Bugg. Now listen to that and hear instruments! :O can you believe it, a modern artist using a MUSICAL INSTRUMENT. the lyrics are catchy and he sounds hot. (he is hot too).

On another note, i resigned from work today, simply because i didnt like my job. Im just saying dont be stuck somewhere you dont like! Its pointless and if it makes you unhappy, its a waste of your life. However, I am now poor.com. So need to find a job i will actually like :) I also need to get on with some work so im gonna love you and leave you 
cheers em xoxoox

Thursday 10 January 2013

#IGetThatAlot.

Unfortunately for me, the thing i get alot is Herpes. haha. :| anywaysss. 

No, before the romour mill just its prodcution i do not have Herpes, just AIDS. Too much time in Slough (ooosssh). I quite like this hastag, you just know people like Ollie Riley are gonna be like #Igetthatalot that im really hot, but i dont see it, cus ive always been bullied about my weight and how meaningless i am. (other one tweet probs sorry) and this gives people like me (who has just devoured a tub of icecream ;D) an exscuse to laugh at what a meaningless life these people lead! #Twatter. Anyway, more popularily today, top retweet on this subject was about being neglected and hated and abused. blah blah blah. You know what this calls for.
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WITH EMILYYYY (themetrack coming soon) 
Hi and welcome, to "how to suceed at love". So many people fuck up with stupid things like NOT TELLING PEOPLE THEY LIKE THEM" and then you complain that they are not talking to you or acknowledging you, you wonder why? I can understand if you think you love a "friend" that could be awks, but if your 12, and love 13 year Mr. no pubes, tell him and spare the rest of us the fucking heartbreak. Worst thing is mature women are on the bandwagon now and i want to strangle them with their pprayer beads or smack them around the head with their "men are from mars book...." MAN THE FUCK UP. you wonder why women have no power, because the majority get fingered and suddenly want to spend their lyfe wid der babii. I honestly hate this earth. Where the fuck did intelligent life go? Girls, we are better than this! We have the clunge, we have the power! Men like sex alot more than usss. Jeeez -_-. Worst than this, boys with feelings. leave the earth on a rocket now. chunder. Boy shouldnt be soppy and cry when their girlfriend says hello. That leads your girlfriend from ask.fm to date someone with more likes. Fair shout, im not perfect with my boyfriend but at least were not all gay and soppy and we punch each other. :) But anyway the main message was just tell them you like them. save us all :D.

back again. :) got like 100 views on my blog, so thanks guys, didnt think it would be read. probablly 60 of those views are me checking it from my phone at 6thform or work. buut cheers if you do read my blog. much appreciated. let me know if i can rant anything out for you. :) thanks☮

em xoxoxoxo

Wednesday 9 January 2013

#tweesomethingyousayalot

My answer: Fuck that

Other People:
  • Whoever started the trend '#TweeSomethingYouSayAlot' should really spell check their tweets.
  • #TweeSomethingYouSayAlot I'm really tired
  • #TweeSomethingYouSayALot ain't nobody got time for that 
For one, think we've established theres a spelling mistake, twee has a ring to it, reminds me of having a wee whilst on twitter. i like it. Thats just me though. Why?!?!?! Do we as a human race. have to be the spelling police. shiit. Is there any need? I dont really mind, if a spelt the word "angel" like "angle". Maybe i was reffering to someone i love as a measurment on a fucking triangle! Second thing, twee(t) something you say alot? I say lots of stuff alot, like hello, fuck that (as above), fuck off etc. but that doesnt make something an interesting tweet. See tweet 2 - Im tired. That got shit loads of retweets, and lots of "omg same we iz so alike", everyone fucking says that. Kill Yourself. Second of all, tweet 3 is legendary. love it. Because i love when black people say that. White people sit down, aint nobody got time you you saying it!.
Hashtagging is so shit sometimes, at least Cut4Bieber meant something and we could laugh at the sad fucks doing it, but "What I say alot" - we can't laugh, we can write a tweet back and hope for a retweet by someone else who thinks the fact you both say "the awkward moment when" ha ha ha. lolz. NO.

On a brighter note, i had mcdonalds today - on my way to obesity nicely. being skinny is underrated and at least at 28 stone, i will get like benefits for liking maltesers (which i do!) I also listened to lots of 80's music and got blocked from ebay on my dads account, not sure why- any suggestions, please comment. 
Anywayzzz see you tommorow, for a new hashtag or choose me something to bitch about (or someone ;D) 
Thankss Em xoxooxoxo

Tuesday 8 January 2013

#Cut4beiber.

Go.And.Kill.Yourselfs.

First hashtag and what a day to start this shit! Cut for Beiber for you guys, is girls (and fags) who are cutting themselves because mr justin had a dooby. Buut its way more extreme then that "its justin breaking our bond and not respecting us as fans". Poor girlies! I bet there lifes are well sad now their fututre husband has fucked them over cry.cry.cry. But i have a message for you lovely little girls #Cut4Beiber should be #CutForMyPoorParentsWhoHaveToLiveWithACuntLikeMe. glad we have that established. I have nothing against bieber (actually a bit more respect now hes not acting like a little girl) but his beliebingtons or whatever, should leave the earth. Why would you cause yourself harm for someone having a spliff. i really don't know what the world is. I dont like drugs tbh, but if my own mother had a spliff, i wouldnt cut. i would never let her live it down. Its people like that in the world, that make me feel sick that im a part of the human race, would be easier to be an ant, the chuck shit everywhere, carry a couple leaves and then get their food taken by grasshoppers. YOLO. But not being funny, saw a couple of cute pictures of bleeding arms and stuff and then people pisstaking it, but 564838 pictures later and i want to poke my eyes out. Anyone i think we should give more attention to me, cus i drunk more than the recommended units, the other day. #Cut4Hayward. #DontJudgeABadman.
Cheers Em xoxo